Full-Time Training - Testimonies

Life, Love, and Less of Me, S.L.

In reviewing my experience in the Full-Time Training in Anaheim (FTTA), two words keep coming to mind: No regret. My decision to go to the FTTA was without a doubt the best choice I have ever made in my life. Although I grew up in a Christian home and enjoyed a healthy and sweet time meeting with the local church in Newington, CT, I realized, especially in my college years, that I needed training. The training that I needed and by the Lord's mercy, have received was not just to build character and acquire more knowledge of God's Word. Even more, the FTTA provided me with an environment where the divine life within me was able to flourish. Just as a tender plant needs much light, food, water, air, and even pruning, my Christian life likewise requires much care to grow. When I first arrived at the FTTA I was immediately impressed with such an atmosphere so conducive to the growth in the divine life. Never before was I surrounded by so many young people consecrated to the Lord, all of whom had set aside their own interests to pursue after Christ and God's eternal purpose (Ephesians 3:9-11). It was in this environment that I really began to know the Lord.

I realized that the more I get to know this wonderful person, Christ, the more I fall in love with Him. I am so grateful for all the classes and healthy ministry Word of God, as well as all the assignments to study the truth of the Bible. It was through this that I was given a real vision of Christ and His heart's desire (Ephesians 5:25) which in turn has greatly strengthened my love and consecration to the Lord. Never before have I had such a deep, sweet, and intimate relationship with my Lord Jesus as here in the FTTA.

Now, after passing through two years of training, I feel I have been equipped to be more useful to my Master. Real usefulness, however, I have come to realize, is not what I imagined before. The Lord does not want instruments to use; He just wants open vessels which He can fill and through which He can be expressed and lived out. Through preaching the gospel, shepherding new believers (John 21:15-17) on a college campus, and through practical service in the FTTA, the Lord has showed me that what I have to offer, what I can say and do, and even what I am is of no value to the Lord. I am just a useless “thorn bush” (Exodus 3:2-4), a channel or vessel in and upon which the Lord needs to burn and be manifested. When I run on my own natural ability and energy as fuel, I just burn out. But when I deny the self and allow the Lord to burn within me, this divine flame can never be extinguished (Matthew 16:24)! With less of self and more receiving of the continual dispensing of Christ as life, the Body of Christ is built up (Ephesians 1:23). I believe it will take a lifetime, if not eternity, to fully realize everything that I have gained in the FTTA. I thank the Lord for giving me His very best.

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